You may not realize it, but there are certain things which a woman should ask a man in order to set the pace, boundaries, and direction of a relationship. Women, who fail to ask the right questions, always end up getting strung along in a relationship.
A woman, who gets strung along, generally finds that a guy does whatever he wants, when he wants without much consideration of her wants or desires.
But that’s because she never clarified or asked, so he thinks everything is fine and that she is happy, because she isn’t saying otherwise; and goes after his own desires. This would mean that men, who want to use women, end up doing it; and men who want to take women for granted, end up doing it etc…
This is why it’s extremely important to ask the right questions early on, so that you don’t throw yourself into a vicious cycle where a man uses you like a door mat. Moreover, the questions you ask help you direct him into knowing what exactly it is that you want, and help a man give you what you want.
Here are the 25 questions which every woman should ask a man:
1. What are your personal goals?- You SHOULD know what it is that he wants to do outside of a relationship, because he is going to want to do them. Most women get in the way of a man’s personal goals, because they want all of his goals to involve her. Accept that not all of his goals involve you, as they were formed before you…and some simply will not involve you regardless.
2. What was your childhood like?– Knowing a man’s childhood is like being given a key to understanding everything he is about, because it will explain why he is the way he is. This is something every woman should know from top to bottom.
3. What are your insecurities? – These little devils will pop up out of nowhere if you don’t ask and don’t get clarification. When they do surface, they usually ruin and destroy everything good, so it’s something you MUST discuss and find out early on, so that you know how to handle it or you are aware that it’s just insecurity when it surfaces.
4. What career path are you interested in? – This is a direction every woman should be aware of, because it could involve him moving away, or having to spend a lot of time at work etc…
5. What do you expect from a relationship? – Not everyone’s idea of a relationship is the same. It’s good to clarify this early on and figure out what a relationship really is to him.
6. What do you want out of life? – This encompasses everything he expects to accomplish out of life, if that includes his career, a family, financial success etc… in essence, it’s all of the major goals he has for himself until he dies.
7. What can’t you stand? – Imagine if you spent your entire time doing everything he hates, because he never tells you? This is how 99.9% of relationships are, and it’s why they fail, because women never actually know that it is that they are doing wrong, and they never find out what it is that their man actually can’t stand. It’s good to know his boundaries here.
8. Do you want children? – Some couples never discuss this, so when one of the partners declares they’d like kids, they are shocked and torn apart when they realize their partner never did. If you want children, and even if you don’t you need to ask him if that’s something he is looking forward to or not.
9. What were your past relationships like? – A person’s relationship past can show you patterns in their personality. It is also good to know, to find out if a man still hasn’t moved on, if they have baggage, if they are the cheating type etc… which is not something you want to find out later.
10. What attracts you to women? – A general question that goes beyond the superficial. Everyone has their unique idea of an ideal partner; it is good to know what is actually ideal and attractive to a man in the first place.
11. What expectations do you have on yourself? – A man’s expectations on himself will rub off onto everyone else that he encounters, if they don’t fall into those expectations; but more importantly, a man’s expectations of himself can determine his reactions and actions toward many things.
12. What are your views on spirituality? – Religion matters to some, to others it does not. However, it is important to find out if it does matter to your partner, and where they stand on it, and if they can accept you into their life with the beliefs they have.
13. What do you expect from a partner? – What does he want from you? What does he need? What things are the most important to him, from a woman? What kinds of things is he looking for from his partner?
14. Describe your family and friends? – Who are they, what are they about, how does the family function, what kinds of relationships are there etc…? All of this shaped who he is today, and may shape his ideas on the kind of relationship he wants. Get to know his family and friends.
15. What do you think about marriage and commitment? – We are coming to an era where people are evenly drawn between marriages and simply dating. Some believe it’s better to date and stay in a long term relationship without marriage, because they believe things are fine as they are. Others believe marriage is the way. Some men, on the other hand only believe in short term relationships. It is good to know where he stands on the subject, so that you can clarify where you stand.
16. What is your sexual history? – It is good to know what a partner’s sexual history was, for obvious safety reasons (STD’s); but also to understand how your partner views sexuality and intimacy to begin with.
17. What role does a woman play in a relationship? – Find out what purpose he believes you would fulfill in a relationship with him. For instance, some men think that a woman should not work, is that something he believes should be your role?
18. What is your financial situation? – Regardless of whether or not you are financially independent, you should know this. Finances support a person’s way of life, so you should be aware on a general level of his financial standing; because financial problems and even success can bear a lot of stress or problems for a man.
19. What is your stance on intimacy and sex? – When does he think it is alright to initiate intimacy? What kinds of fantasies or desires does he have in that area? What does he expect?
20. What is loyalty to you? – Does he believe in monogamy? What is his idea of loyalty? What kind of loyalty does he expect?
21. How do you define love? – Some men may not believe in it, others may think it’s the only way. Some may say its conditional, others say it’s unconditional. It’s good to know how a man defines love, because that sets the emotional pace for the relationship.
22. What are your worst life experiences? – Knowing where a man came from and how he overcame it can show you where he plans on going in the future. Also, there could have been life changing events, traumatic events, etc… which you should be aware of, because those can affect him now depending on the severity.
23. What are your successes? – What are his best experiences, what has he accomplished? These are things he has worked on, and can show you where his interests lie, but also HOW he tackles things and how he wins.
24. What are your worst fears? – To some, it could be commitment; to others it could be bankruptcy. You should know what kinds of things hold him back, or make him afraid…as those can get in the way of everything if they surface or become triggered. Remember they are his WORST fears.
25. What do you want to know about me? – Sometimes a man won’t ever ask things, because he doesn’t feel the floor is open to ask. Let him know that he can ask you anything, and be open to his questions without judging them or criticizing the things he is asking. This question is important to let a guy know that he CAN get to know you and CAN know the things he wants to, and there are most definitely things he wants to know.