There is absolutely no question that a marriage is hard work and can often times be put on the back burner per se. All marriages have the same important dynamics that are in the DNA of most households.
As my wife and I began to develop our new marriage 9 years ago, other priorities began to take place in our fairly new life together that swayed our focus from the foundation of our marriage. The stress of our jobs, budgeting, paying bills, investing, pregnancy, children, in-laws and family issues, pets, house upkeep and maintenance and so forth. My point is that when my wife and I got married, it was just her and I and the world to conquer. But with every marriage, life can deal you an array of obstacles that can and will distract a couples true love for one another over time.
Eight years into our marriage my wife looks at me one evening and say, ” honey I wish you loved on me the way you hold and love our two boys”. I didn’t understand her at first and totally did not take that comment serious. Of course I felt like she was wrong. I felt like I did show her affection and love. However, deep down I knew what she was getting at, and it began to dawn on me that our relationship and intimacy for one another had taken a back seat to our busy lives. I especially knew that I was at some fault and I became concerned for our marriage for the first time. It was a bit scary imaging a life without my kids and wife.
I was guilty of becoming complacent in our relationship and though I loved my wife, I began to treat her as my roommate in a business partnership in managing our house, bills and children with little focus on intimacy and love.
For example, I’d come home from work, and the kids got a great big hug and I would just say hello to my wife. No kiss or how was your day or any affection. It became normal this way. Sex was still part of our relationship, but it suffered true intimacy and often times would lead to many arguments. She not in mood, or when she was there was animosity that made each of us insecure in our attempts to show true passion for one another.
The real fear of divorce was lurking in my mind at times. It was a scary realization that I would need to change and hope my wife would also begin to show more love toward me as well.. On the way to work one morning I tuned in to a station that had a relationship advisor on. He described my marriage as if he was speaking to me directly. I purchased his book and began implementing his advice.
The changes I made were small changes but they were sincere steps with real thought and care. I kiss my wife every time I’d leave and come home from work. I kiss her goodnight and tell her that I loved her several times a day. I would surprise her with some flowers for no reason at all. The two of us began to communicate better. I listened to her and focused on her and her needs more. We developed a system throughout the week that we considered our time together. I learned to be patient and slow and to truly enjoy our intimate times together. Sex began to be better than ever and my wife developed a side to her that just rocked my world. As she saw the change in me it seemed to give her more confidence and amazing lack of inhibitions in the bedroom.
I’ve placed my relationship with my wife on same priority as I have in loving and taking care of my two boys. My family is my life and a happy relationship with my wife is my passion. Just a month ago and just before our 9th anniversary during New Years my wife whispered in my ear that she finally feels that I love her as much as I love our boys. What a New Year night I had!
There are many relationship articles and ebooks available everywhere on the internet and though they are not all equal in quality they all have a common component of baby step processes for developing a better and stronger marriage. There are some really great examples and ideas in these ebooks that will empower you with the knowledge and confidence to either turn you marriage around or improve upon what already a good marriage.
It’s never too late to make small changes in yourself and in your approach to a happier marriage. Familiarize yourself with reading materials on relationships. There are so much advice that can really give you a head start in finding out ways to improve abilities in being a better wife or husband.
My Marriage is better than ever and our communication in reminding each other how much we love one another is an everyday occurrence. Kiss, text I love you, date, find a great babysitter, listen to one another and put the two of you at the top of your pyramid of priorities and the remaining dynamics of your life will be just fine.